How much do you trust?

Second Sunday of Lent

“Do you trust God? Do WE trust God?”. It seems the readings of this week challenges us to consider what we consider as responses that we should make when we trust God.

Consider the first reading, God calls on Abram in his old age to leave his native land, from all he is familiar with, in order for Abram to live out God’s plan, to make of him a great nation, one that all the communities of the earth shall find blessing in him… and what did Abram do? Abram went as the LORD directed him.

What about us? Do we have moments like that?

I remember towards the end of my first year in formation, I started to have really bad headaches. The worst was when I was walking one day and suddenly, all I could see were little spots in front of me. Even though it was for just a one or two seconds, it terrified me.

The situation didn’t get any better, over time, my headaches got worst and my eyes became more sensitive to light. This was affecting me in many ways, I couldn’t concentrate in my studies, then I could rest properly, eventually it affected my ability to participate in community activities.

I went to different doctors with my formator, I was referred to different specialists. For months, no one could help me except to prescribe painkillers to ease the headaches. It seemed like there was no way that I could recover.

I knew at that time, that even though I had achieved good grades and was an obedient and contributing seminarian to the community, my current condition would probably disqualify me from continuing. I prayed as hard as I could, but the headaches didn’t go away. At one point, I said to God, “God, I thought you called me to become a priest. Why is this happening to me? Help me to understand all these.”

In the months that I went through different tests, my Maryknoll community continued to help me in different ways. They sent me to retreats, connected me with Maryknollers who were therapists, and gave me extra time to rest. Even though my grades dropped a little, I managed to complete the semester.

In the new semester, one of the specialists found out what was causing the migraines, and we went through the treatment and eventually I got better.

Throughout the struggling period, while I was troubled by the headaches, while I was asking God why all these were happening, I always believed that God was with me. I trusted and I did what I could. In trusting God, I experienced the mercy and compassion of God through my formators, my classmates, other members of my community and even the doctors and the nurses. That is why the response for today, really resonated with me – “Lord, let your mercy be on us, as we place our trust in you”.

Yes, I think most of us understand this prayer well. Many a times, we struggle to understand all the negative things happening in the world, in our lives, like the war in Middle East now. My friends in the US who are facing unnecessary violence. My friend’s mum died a day before Lunar New Year. How do we accept all these?

Perhaps, let’s go back to my story. After months of treatment, my migraines were gone. I was back to normal and was doing well. The following summer, I was assigned to do pastoral visits at our assisted living facilities. I met many of our older missioners who were struggling with diminishment of some of their abilities. I felt for them, and in some ways, I think I could understand a little of what they were going through. I used what I had experienced, the care, the concern, the non-judgment, the quotes from my therapists, the insights I gained from my retreats… everything I thought that was preparing me to leave the seminary was now being used on older members of my community. I would have never imagined that when I was struggling in my bed with my headaches.

It sounds just like what St. Paul wrote to Timothy:

“Bear your share of hardship for the gospel

with the strength that comes from God.”

Bear our share of hardship for the Gospel,

with the strength that comes from God.

Do we? When times are tough, do we still trust that God is still with us? That God is still our strength to overcome the challenges?

He saved us and called us to a holy life,

not according to our works

but according to his own design”

Do we trust that even when the wicked one causes chaos in our lives, that God ultimately is calling on us to participate in his own design?

Jesus in the Gospel offers us a shiny example of trust fully in God. The Transfiguration event is one that offers many insights into what we are preparing for every Lent. We are like Peter, James and John, and as we witness what they witnessed, we can begin to understand what was being revealed because we are already familiar with the story.

The presence of Moses and Elijah talking to Jesus indicate to us that there is life after death. All of us know that Moses and Elijah are dead, but they seem to know Jesus well, so Jesus must know the dead and the living!

This matches with the voice from the clouds that proclaimed that “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.” Hence, this even is a revelation that Jesus is divine, he is the Son of God.

Finally, when Jesus told the three, “Do not tell the vision to anyone until the Son of Man has been raised from the dead.” This means that Jesus knew at that point that he was going to die soon but that he would be raised from the dead. Perhaps, that is why he transfigured, to show the three disciples how a glorified body would look like.

In this very moment, if we had the knowledge of what Jesus had about his death, most of us would be terrified… yet when the three disciples were frightened by the voice in the cloud, Jesus told them, “Rise, and do not be afraid.”

Jesus shows us what it means to trust in God. It is not just something we speak of like some kind of lip service in the church. It is something we live out.

With Abram, it was going out to do something new. To walk away from what he is used to and trust that God has more planned for him.

For Paul, it was relearning what he has spent his whole life training for, even though it might mean that he would have a tougher life, even though he might be ostracized by his community. Even though it might all lead him to a life in prison.

For Jesus, it was doing what he believed would lead the to the salvation of many, the many that also include you and me. The many many more that we need to invite others to come to join us at the altar, at the Eucharistic table!

My brothers and sisters, I am not saying that God wants us to suffer… but we must accept that there are evil forces in our world and they are causing all sorts of terror, and God has a plan for that too, in that we must trust. God has a plan for that and maybe some of us are called to be the one to face, to overcome, to completely destroy that evil. Because when we don’t, then the Gospel message ends, then evil wins. And that is not God’s plan.

Hence, today as we approach the Eucharistic table to partake in communion, let us ask for that strength of God to turn our trust into actions, actions that witness to the goodness of God, actions that show that we continue to listen to Jesus, the beloved Son, with whom God the Father is well pleased.